


Dizzy

by Goldenonyx



Series: Max's Naruto November [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU sasuke, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hokage Kakashi, M/M, inspired by dizzy by waterparks, jounin naruto, jounin sasuke, kakashi and sakura dont get paid enough for this, mentioned death, naruto is also a dumbass, sasuke always runs, sasuke is a dumbass, sasukes mission is vague dont @ me, wounded sasuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 14:02:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21303266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldenonyx/pseuds/Goldenonyx
Summary: “You haven’t told him,” she said as they watched Naruto and Kakashi spar. As vague as she was, he knew what she was talking about and didn’t see any reason to play dumb, not with Sakura.“No.”“Why?”"I didn't want him to know."Or Sasuke can't handle his own feelings so he does the same thing he always has, he runs.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Max's Naruto November [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533464
Comments: 1
Kudos: 176





	Dizzy

When Sasuke joined ANBU, it had just seemed like the logical next step. He was an Uchiha, he was Itachi’s younger brother; of course he would do well. In reality, he was nothing but a coward. He was still running away; his work with ANBU had him out of the village so much it was like nothing had changed from when he was running around with Team Taka, expect now he was working for the village rather than against it.

He had Kakashi to thank for that. His betrayal was still in the back of people’s minds, but the Hokage trusted him, so after a while the village began to as well. It was good to be back, to have a home and be surrounded by his friends again, but he grew restless. Once things had settled done after the war, nobody’s schedules ever seemed to match up. Kakashi was the Hokage, so his free time was almost nonexistent, Sakura spent all of her time at the hospital, and Naruto had officially become a jounin, his missions putting him in and out of the village at random intervals. Sasuke had spent some time to himself at first, working on the Uchiha compound and just reacquainting himself with the village, but he was bored.

It was during one of Team 7’s get-togethers that Kakashi had brought up ANBU. Sasuke had thought about it before, but that was back when Itachi was in it. After everything that had happened he never really thought it was a real option for him. Sakura had just smiled and commented about how fitting it seemed, but Naruto had a seemingly far off look in his eye. At the time Sasuke had thought it was because Kakashi hadn’t offered the position to him, but it wouldn’t be until much later he realized just how wrong he was.

Moving up to captain was easy for Sasuke, which had surprised him. He was sure that because of his past people would be hesitant to allow him the position, but Kakashi had told him that it was _because_ of his past that it had only made sense. His team consisted of Neji Hyuuga, Kiba Inuzuka, and Shikamaru Nara, and while it took some getting used to, they quickly became an important asset to Konoha.

One night while they were camped out coming back from a mission, they were all talking about why they had joined ANBU, and Sasuke couldn’t give anything better than “to use his skills he’d once used against the village to help instead.” The others had accepted that as a valid answer, but he knew if he had said the same thing to Team 7 Sakura would have hit him. This new team just didn’t know him like the others, and that in itself was a large part of _why_.

He had been given another option by Kakashi, the day he had gone in to talk about his ANBU offer. He could be a jounin, he could get away from the darkness that would only continue if he was an ANBU, and he could work with Naruto. Sasuke wanted to take that offer, but he was a coward, and working with Naruto again would force him to admit his feelings. Leaving on the other hand, only seeing the other a handful of times, that would allow him to push those feelings deeper and deeper, locking them up for only him to know. So that’s exactly what he did.

This system worked out for a few years, but things slowly began to change. Kiba and Shikamaru both left ANBU to become jounin, getting their own genin teams and passing on their knowledge. Neji had worked his way up the rankings as well and had his own ANBU team, which left Sasuke awkwardly waiting outside Kakashi’s office one afternoon. Almost every other time he had been here it was because Kakashi had called for him, but this time was all on his own.

The first few minutes were uncomfortable for Sasuke; Kakashi just sat there staring at him and Sasuke really had no idea why he was even here in the first place. Eventually Kakashi just sighed and went back to whatever he was working on before Sasuke had shown up, allowing him time to figure out what he wanted to begin with.

“I want solo missions outside of Konoha,” he decided, watching Kakashi for any sort of reaction.

“ANBU works in units,” Kakashi stated, the ‘where are you going with this’ went unsaid but still understood.

”Put me somewhere else then,” Sasuke wasn’t going to make this easy, that just wasn’t his style. He was coming to Kakashi for advice, but obviously he was going to disguise it as much as possible.

“What do you want?” Kakashi sighed, the question seeming like more of a challenge than anything.

“I want solo missions outside of Konoha,” Sasuke was beginning to lose patience, coming here was a bad idea, he had talked himself out of it so many times, yet he had shown up anyway.

“Are you ever going to stop running?”

“I’m not-“

“You are, that’s all you’ve been doing since you got back.”

“No it’s-“

“I’ll move you to jounin, you can start on missions next week.”

The days that followed left Sasuke in a bad mood. At first he tried to just ignore what Kakashi had said, but he couldn’t. He’d tried denial, but eventually acceptance was where he found himself. He was running, he knew that; he had known for a while, but that didn’t change anything. He was no longer worried about how the village saw him, he had earned his place back by now and his betrayal was hardly ever mentioned anymore. This struggle he faced was internal, and he had never intended on that changing.

Enter Sakura.

The only people who knew of his switch from ANBU to jounin were Neji and Kakashi, and it wasn’t that Sasuke willingly held that information, it just wasn’t something he ever brought up. His missions were typically given to him straight from Kakashi and he was out of the village for weeks at a time, he never had the time _to_ tell anyone. How Sakura found out he had no idea, but it didn’t surprise him. The next time Team 7 met up, he had felt her gaze on him but hadn’t thought much of it.

“You haven’t told him,” she said as they watched Naruto and Kakashi spar. As vague as she was, he knew what she was talking about and didn’t see any reason to play dumb, not with Sakura.

“No.”

“Why?”

He didn’t really have an answer for that. Naruto was his best friend; he’d been trying to convince Sasuke to become a jounin for years, so naturally he would be the first person to know. Sasuke just, hadn’t told him. He felt Sakura’s stare as he contemplated his answers, and he just sighed. There was no point in lying to her, he wouldn’t get away with it anyway.

“I didn’t want him to know.”

“He’s going to find out eventually,” she warned. Her eyes clearly said ‘better he hears it from you than someone else.’

Every argument died on his tongue, he could argue all day, but he’d never win. Sakura already knew the reason Sasuke hadn’t mentioned anything, she just wanted him to admit it. And he wouldn’t, at least not out loud, but he knew. She grinned at him before turning away, heading over to Naruto who had yet again been bested by the Hokage.

He had planned on talking to Naruto after being called out by Sakura, but it seemed fate had other ideas. The very next day Sasuke had been sent on a mission to the depths of the Land of Earth to act as a spy and gather intel. It wasn’t a typical jounin mission, but with Sasuke’s background and the trust of the Hokage, it had fallen onto his shoulders.

For the first few months, the mission had gone smoothly. His disguise was secure and he had quickly gained the trust of the group he had infiltrated. Naturally, that’s when everything had gone bad. Sasuke had the information he had been sent to retrieve, and his orders were to retreat after collection, however he couldn’t shake the feeling he was closer to something even bigger, so he stayed. He knew who the members of the organization were, he had evidence that proved they were planning an attack on Konoha, but he couldn’t understand _why_. None of these missing-nin had any relation to Konoha, in fact Konoha was the only hidden village they didn’t have ties to. It just didn’t make sense.

If he had just gone back after gathering the evidence he was sent for, maybe things would have ended better. If he had just performed the mission like he was supposed to, maybe they didn’t have to die. If he had only done his job, maybe he wouldn’t be laying in the middle of nowhere, bleeding and out of chakra. But he was Sasuke Uchiha, and he was always one to trust his gut, so when it told him to stay he did. A massacre of the organization led out solely by him wasn’t his plan, but as they migrated closer to Konoha and their true intentions came to light, Sasuke saw no other option.

It was Naruto. Of course it was Naruto. Why else would a group of missing-nin with no ties to Konoha be so interested in it? They wanted Naruto, and Sasuke wasn’t going to let them get anywhere near him. In hindsight, taking on a group of seven nin with all different strengths alone wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had, but time was running out and he did what he had to.

For so long, his only goal was to kill Itachi. He had figured they would end up taking each other out, so he never really made any plans past that. When he survived and learned the truth about the Uchiha massacre, he’d had a new goal and worked towards that, and though he’d never admit it, he never expected to survive his revenge against Konoha either. Every big goal he’d ever had, he’d assumed it would mark the end for him as well. When he’d been allowed back into Konoha after the war, he was at a loss, mainly because he hadn’t expected to make it this far. How do you live in a future you never expected to have? It was his friends that helped him realize there was more to life than his constant death wish. Now, lying there in the dirt, blood pooling around his arms, he didn’t _want_ to die. There were people waiting for him, a life he was actually happy with _waiting_ for him, and he wasn’t ready to let that go. So, with his right arm completely useless and no chakra to help, he dragged on, desperate to make it home.

It was Shikamaru who found him, about twenty miles outside of Konoha. He was bringing his genin team back from a week long training session when he came across Sasuke’s blood trail. Sending his team ahead to the village to alert Sakura and Kakashi, Shikamaru practically carried Sasuke the rest of the way, and Sasuke was too out of it to even try and complain.

When he came to, Sakura was there, already scolding him for being an idiot. Shikamaru had led a team of jounin to where he had found Sasuke, and following the blood trail they had uncovered the massacre Sasuke had left behind. To everyone else, it just looked like Sasuke had tracked down and killed seven missing-nin from the Bingo Book, but by the look Sakura was giving him, and the tears she was trying to hide, she knew none of that was supposed to happen.

His arm had been badly crushed and his chakra reserve almost completely drained, but with plenty of rest he’d survive. Kakashi listened to his entire rundown of events with a blank face, and Sasuke told him everything. If it had been anyone else, he would have just given his bare report and called it good, but this was his sensei, so he didn’t hold back. Kakashi knew Sasuke would make his own decisions based on what he felt he had to do, and he sent him anyway. He trusted Sasuke, trusted he would make the right calls and trusted he would come back when he was done, and he did. He was sent away with a hand ruffled through his hair and a warning not to take any missions for at least a month, a warning he knew was more of a threat than anything.

By the time he finally made it home, he had been gone on his mission for seven months, and he hadn’t realized how much he had missed it until he was back. His day had just gotten harder though, seeing a blonde tuff of hair waiting on his front step.

They greeted each other with silence, Sasuke passing him and heading inside, knowing that Naruto would follow. Sasuke knew that Naruto knew at least some of the truth; there was no way Sasuke could be gone for that long without him asking questions. Rather than wait for Naruto to start bombarding him with one question after another, he decided that for once, he would just explain everything; everything Kakashi and Sakura had been trying to get out of him for years.

“I was offered a jounin position before I accepted the ANBU position, but I refused it even though it’s what I wanted. I didn’t officially switch over until about a year and a half ago, but I didn’t want you to know.” He couldn’t meet Naruto’s eye as he talked, and he hated himself for it. Since when could he not even look him in the eye? He was a coward, he knew that, but at least he had decided to stop running.

“I don’t understand why. I’ve tried, ever since I found out I’ve tried to understand why you didn’t tell me, but I can’t,” Naruto practically pleaded, his eyes holding so much raw emotion Sasuke was almost glad he couldn’t look into them.

“If I told you, you’d want to team up,” he said. There was no going back now. The incredulous look he received was absolutely warranted.

“And? We’ve been on a team practically our entire lives! And if you didn’t want to you could have just said so.”

“But I do want it,” he admitted, hoping that Naruto figured it out sooner rather than later. If he had to spell it out he might actually die.

“I don’t see the problem.” What an idiot.

“What did Kakashi tell you about my mission?” Sasuke wasn’t going to spell it out, he refused, so he’d try it this way instead.

“He said there was a group believed to be planning an attack on Konoha and he sent you to find out if it was a valid threat. What does that have to do with-“

“They were coming to Konoha to kill you,” Sasuke admitted for the second time that day, and it made his blood boil all the same. “So I killed them.”

“And almost yourself, from what Sakura and Shikamaru said,” Naruto added, more of a mumble than anything.

“And I’d do it again.”

“Kill for me or die for me? Because I’d rather you not do either.” Naruto was not making this conversation any easier, but maybe Sasuke should have expected that.

Fuck it

“I didn’t want to team up with you because I thought my feelings would get the best of me and I’d do something dumb, but clearly all I need to hear is your name and I do it anyway, so there’s really no point in you not knowing anymore.” With that, Sasuke turned away and went to his room with every intention of sleeping for the next month until Kakashi would let him leave again. Naruto, that bastard, caught on too quickly.

“Are you kidding me!?!” the anger in his voice was enough to have Sasuke flinch before stepping to the side, avoiding the mass hurling towards him.

“All this time I thought that this was your messed up way of turning me down! I never thought you were stupid enough not to notice _at all_!” Naruto had practically screeched.

Oh

_Oh_

“Wait,” Sasuke played the words over in his head a few more times, just to be sure he understood. “So we’re both-“

“Yeah, we’re both idiots,” Naruto finished. It wasn’t exactly what Sasuke was going to say, but he couldn’t disagree.

A couple weeks later, after the dust had settled and Sakura had finally declared Sasuke healed, Team 7 got together to ‘unofficially celebrate the fact Sasuke wasn’t dead,’ as Naruto had put it. Sasuke had felt light for the entire encounter, like the cloud that had been looming over him for years was finally gone. Sakura and Kakashi could tell, Sakura had smiled at him and Kakashi had nodded, and it was then that he realized, oh, he really was an idiot. They had both known, probably the entire time, that the two idiots liked each other. They both probably had been subjected to Naruto whining about how ‘Sasuke could at least flat out reject me rather than just ignore me.’ He would have to thank them later, he wouldn’t have been able to deal with that.

As the night dragged on, both Kakashi and Sakura decided to call it a night, leaving Naruto and Sasuke behind with a wink and a nudge. Sasuke still wasn’t used to this, being alone with Naruto after they had finally started to figure things out. Under the shine of the stars, as he turned to head home, he was pulled backwards into a steady embrace.

“Next time,” Naruto mumbled, his voice muffled by Sasuke’s hair. “Next time, maybe talk to me before going and almost getting killed.”

“That’s never really been our style. Though next time I’ll make sure you’re the one who’s trying to kill me. That seems to be more our style,” he snickered.

“Yeah,” Naruto agreed. “I guess you’re right.”


End file.
